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fuck epson

25 January 2001 _ 10h55m35 EDT
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~ the third reason why the angry red planet discourages all from purchasing epson printers and products:

 epson: could i have your model number?
 the angry red planet: epson 777
 epson: that’s a good printer you have there
  the a.r.p.: that’s what i was told the last time i called for service
 epson: have you called about this issue before?
  the a.r.p.: yes, earlier today

 epson: what seems to be the problem now?
  the a.r.p.: well, earlier, i would get a warning every time i sent a job. i turned the printer off, and now i turn it on, but the lights never stop flashing.
 epson: there is fresh ink and paper installed?
  the a.r.p.: yes, i just added ink
 epson: could you hold, please?
  the a.r.p.: yes
  [holding until return]
 epson: ok, what we can do is send you a new model?
  the a.r.p.: a new model?

 epson: yes
  the a.r.p.: just like that, because i called and told you the red light is on….you’re going to replace the whole printer?
 epson: yes
  the a.r.p.: there’s nothing you can tell me to try here? i kind of need this printer right away; there are some things i need to print out for this weekend.
 epson: well, it should ship out next business day, and you will have it the following day.
  the a.r.p.: this is cutting it pretty close; in 3 days, i have this thesis-
 epson: it is too late to ship out today. you should have the day after tomorrow.
  the a.r.p.: that is unfortunate; by then i will have printed out someplace else….on something other than a 777.
 epson: i’m sorry, this is as quickly as we can get it to you.

  the a.r.p.: maybe this would have been easier if i had bought an hp?

  conversation dwindles into threats that we need to return the unusable printer within seven days, or face a $100 penalty. this is exactly the type of disruption needed in thesis week; perhaps the lowest point has not been reached after all…

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