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decompression of news headlines

4 August 2004 _ 15h03m09 EDT
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“Intelligence indicates suspected al Qaeda operatives in Pakistan “contacted” at least one person in the U.S. in recent months, sources tell CNN. Details soon.”

what stunning details could soon follow? a map of the united states was found in south east asia? a man in indonesia was heard to be practicing english? a lebanese woman has opened a custodian checking account for her preteen daughter at a new jersey bank? the sky is falling!!

a dot

~ in other stupid news, we have a headline: “U.S. Struggles to Grasp Scope of Threat”. a more accurate headline would be: “if al queda even exists, they are grinning ear to ear as they watch americans bring more damage upon the United States with expensive and time consuming responses to rumors of threats of threats of attacks than the actual attacks would bring.” maybe nothing is going to catch on fire now, but the effort put into preventing the fire would have greater benefit to all if it had been put instead into preventing ignorance and want, perhaps at the expense of the aforementioned fire. yes, it would be safer to make cars out of jello and titanium and have them driven by robots, but it is cheaper to use plastic and aluminum and have them driven by puny humans and just hope that the pile ups and jackknifings are kept at a manageable level.

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