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fuck epson and john ashcroft

4 October 2002 _ 17h35m15 EDT
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~ why does the justice department wait until members of a terror cell are out of the country before they try to bust it? one of the six guys they wanted in buffalo was in bahrain, now two of the six they want in portland are ‘out of the country’. why can’t john ashcroft call their houses every night to see if they are home? john ashcroft, you can hang up when they answer, so you don’t alarm the terrorist cell!

~ approval: duel between saddam hussein and george w bush

~ disapproval: epson printers


fuck epson

25 January 2001 _ 10h55m35 EDT
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~ the third reason why the angry red planet discourages all from purchasing epson printers and products:

 epson: could i have your model number?
 the angry red planet: epson 777
 epson: that’s a good printer you have there
  the a.r.p.: that’s what i was told the last time i called for service
 epson: have you called about this issue before?
  the a.r.p.: yes, earlier today

 epson: what seems to be the problem now?
  the a.r.p.: well, earlier, i would get a warning every time i sent a job. i turned the printer off, and now i turn it on, but the lights never stop flashing.
 epson: there is fresh ink and paper installed?
  the a.r.p.: yes, i just added ink
 epson: could you hold, please?
  the a.r.p.: yes
  [holding until return]
 epson: ok, what we can do is send you a new model?
  the a.r.p.: a new model?

 epson: yes
  the a.r.p.: just like that, because i called and told you the red light is on….you’re going to replace the whole printer?
 epson: yes
  the a.r.p.: there’s nothing you can tell me to try here? i kind of need this printer right away; there are some things i need to print out for this weekend.
 epson: well, it should ship out next business day, and you will have it the following day.
  the a.r.p.: this is cutting it pretty close; in 3 days, i have this thesis-
 epson: it is too late to ship out today. you should have the day after tomorrow.
  the a.r.p.: that is unfortunate; by then i will have printed out someplace else….on something other than a 777.
 epson: i’m sorry, this is as quickly as we can get it to you.

  the a.r.p.: maybe this would have been easier if i had bought an hp?

  conversation dwindles into threats that we need to return the unusable printer within seven days, or face a $100 penalty. this is exactly the type of disruption needed in thesis week; perhaps the lowest point has not been reached after all…


your favorite search terms 2012

1 January 2013 _ 13h14m23 EDT
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~ what did you enjoy trying to find on the angry red planet in 2012? ‘muslim’ appeared in some form of search most frequently; the phrases used are in descending order, along with some of our favorites highlighted:

oscar niemeyer – 14.5 %
nude muslim men – 5.7 %
naked muslim men – 5.4 %
niemeyer – 1.8 %
muslim men naked – 1.6 %
muslim nude men – 1.5 %
muslim men nude – 1.2 %
nude muslim man – 1.1 %
muslim naked men – 1 %
angryredplanet.org – 1 %

continue reading…


latest search terms

4 May 2009 _ 17h13m52 EDT
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4 May 2009 16:49:31 january
4 May 2009 16:38:39 JOHN BOBBITT NUDE
4 May 2009 16:10:30 nude muslim men
4 May 2009 15:49:15 muslims porno
4 May 2009 14:44:36 fuck epson
4 May 2009 14:34:56 john bobbitt nude
4 May 2009 13:40:14 november
4 May 2009 13:40:00 nude muslim
4 May 2009 13:32:55 april
4 May 2009 13:23:48 december
4 May 2009 12:43:54 “Bike Septa”
4 May 2009 12:21:38 horny men muslim
4 May 2009 12:19:49 nude on planet
4 May 2009 10:55:33 fuck starbucks
4 May 2009 10:21:40 starbucks fuck
4 May 2009 10:20:10 envoy properties
4 May 2009 09:44:31 men porno
4 May 2009 08:24:13 february
4 May 2009 07:25:18 nude men
4 May 2009 06:58:59 men.porno


search for the angry red planet

30 January 2005 _ 10h45m56 EDT
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~ our time these days has been duopolized by the marquis project at sisyphean and by postbaroque. not to say that there is a staggering production of work in these other arenas, for most of that time has been invested in the part of the process known as ‘staring vacantly at the wall’ or ‘weeping quietly over drafting board’ or ‘seeking clarity in escape’. no one gives a shit about postbaroque, but one can read more about the marquis project at toastmaster’s grounds [w] and see the project proper at sisyphean [w].

a dot

~ for filler, we have stolen from sisyphean the end-of-the-month ritual of posting the search terms that lead newcomers to the angry red planet. whereas queries on perry kulper’s architecture and the crowmaker are of interest to the work.group fans, the visitors here seem to have more prurient and/or angry thoughts:

angry red planet : 7.3 %
the angry red planet : 4.2 %
men porno : 3.6 %
nude muslim : 3.6 %
coy howard : 1.5 %
muslim nude : 1.5 %
comic book reader .cbr .cbz : 1.2 %
fahrenheit 911 bittorrent : 1.2 %
fuck condoleeza : 1.2 %
nude muslims : 0.9 %

continue reading…