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where’s the deluge we were promised?

20 February 2010 _ 13h11m05 EDT
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~ this was an actual new story published on a prominent wire service in 2010:

Facebook appears glitchy Saturday
57 mins ago

NEW YORK – Facebook users have been complaining about problems at the social media site. –yahoo news

do we need to create an ‘inane’ or ‘purely dumb’ tag, or would ‘obvious‘ cover that?



Murder-suicide note posted on Facebook

LOS ANGELES – A California man who killed himself and his 9-month-old son in an apparent murder-suicide left dozens of angry, desperate messages to the boy’s mother, including a lengthy suicide note and a memorial collage that appeared on the Web hours after he was dead.
Authorities were looking into whether a third person actually posted the suicide note and collage to Garcia’s Facebook account after Garcia prepared the items before his death.

what kind of fucking loser doesn’t have his own website to post misanthropic rants such as, ‘if i have to open internet explorer one more time i’m going to paint the wall with my brains‘ or ‘if i have to look up ‘cupcake vector’ again today, i’m going end up testing the tensile strength of this miniblind drawstring with my weight‘ or ‘if that girl with the ‘organic farming’ t-shirt comes out with that douchebag in the black drainpipes i’m gunning this tempo off the seabees bridge‘? status updates are for tweens; a grown man should be using scheduled posting for having his suicide message appear, rather than asking some stooge to manually post it later. someone this pathetic should have killed himself. we don’t know about including the 9 month old, but at least he didn’t dress him in children’s lingerie.

by the way, this piece will be posted two (2) hours after it is written, in case we drop a toaster in the bathtub the moment isak borg arrives in lund!


best of aughties

22 December 2009 _ 19h49m02 EDT
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are you shitting us! seriously the best thing you’ve seen in the past 10 years is jennifer anniston aniston? what was the best meal you ate, kraft singles on wonder bread whilst watering your azaleas? it’s garbage like ‘people’ that causes us to take comfort in melting ice caps drowning us all. brad pitt is ‘better’ for his work in new orleans alone, but since your rag only covers entertainment fluff, here is the best of mainstream, mostly american culture of the past decade:


‘alias’ (not the tv series)
‘the argument’
‘the assassination of richard nixon’
‘brokeback mountain’
‘children of men’
‘daredevil’ – bendis/maleev run
‘in bruges’
‘in rainbows’
‘the life pursuit’
‘lost in translation’
‘new x-men’ – grant morrison run
‘no country..’ (film) or ‘o, brother..’ we can’t decide
‘there will be blood’
‘the wrestler’
‘y: the last man’


shouldn’t it be ‘italian americans are ignorami’?

9 December 2009 _ 12h45m42 EDT
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“(‘Jersey Shore’ furthers) the popular TV notion that Italian-Americans are gel-haired, thuggish ignoramuses with fake tans, no manners, no diction, no taste, no education, no sexual discretion,”…..”Would that programing ever have been allowed if the group were African-Americans, Asians, Hispanics, Jewish people?” -ny post

yes, yes, yes, maybe.



25 November 2009 _ 09h59m10 EDT
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Sanford: ‘What happened, happened’

that’s true.
one could also say ‘what didn’t happen didn’t happen’ or ‘what might happen might happen’ or ‘something has happened’.


another good show!

6 November 2009 _ 14h41m56 EDT
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~ someone else is smart?

Thu Nov 5, 10:38 AM The Associated Press
WASHINGTON – The number of newly laid-off workers filing claims for unemployment benefits in the United States last week fell to the lowest level in 10 months, evidence that job cuts are easing as the economy slowly heals.

AP updated 12 minutes ago
WASHINGTON – The unemployment rate has surpassed 10 percent for the first time since 1983 — and is likely to go higher.

Nearly 16 million people can’t find jobs even though the worst recession since the Great Depression has apparently ended. The Labor Department said Friday that the economy shed a net total of 190,000 jobs in October, less than the downwardly revised 219,000 lost in September. August job losses were also revised lower, to 154,000 from 201,000.

explain to us like we are five years olds with the brains of three year olds how this makes sense?


get to da choppa!!

30 October 2009 _ 12h45m05 EDT
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~ in further hillary clinton news, we can think of one thing disappointing about this headline:

Clinton faces Pakistani anger at Predator attacks


good show!

28 October 2009 _ 10h39m49 EDT
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~ someone is smart:

New home sales expected to rise 2.6 pct
AP – 1 hour, 10 minutes ago

New home sales fall 3.6 percent
AP – 23 mins ago


i don’t celebrate bullshit columbus day

12 October 2009 _ 13h21m51 EDT
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~ you probably do not know that today is ‘columbus day’, because you don’t have the day off from work and are busy flipping through wall treatment catalogues or tracing handrails in autocad, and google didn’t put up a cute doodle of an ‘italian’ driving his sword into a caribbean beach. however, there is some nobody in alaska who wants to make sure you forget(?):

“We have a very large Alaska native population, so just the whole Columbus being the founder of the United States, doesn’t sit well with a lot of people, myself included,” said Paul Prussing, deputy director of Alaska’s Division of Teaching and Learning Support.

…or with anyone who has read a history book that makes clear that columbus died more than 280 years before the united states was (were?) founded.


epiphany, prince, bruce wayne

14 September 2009 _ 13h54m58 EDT
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~ at the illinois welcome center, wiping peanut butter on the day’s fifth english muffin, we had an epiphany: michael keaton’s challenge to ‘jack’ of, ‘do you want to get nuts? come on! let’s get nuts,’ is a nod to the work of the ‘batman’ soundtrack artist – the one who is not danny elfman.