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you never know what’s on the mind of an orca

26 February 2010 _ 14h56m31 EDT
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~ overheard at the book trader:

‘do you remember that movie ‘orca’?’
‘those whales have a long memory. that girl may have done something to make that whale mad long ago, and he has been waiting for his chance to get her’.

hmm, the way we remember it, the orca in ‘orca’ caused a town to explode into fiery pieces. we can only wish…


we’ve heard people mention aadams

20 February 2010 _ 17h56m13 EDT
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~ grounded coffee quote:

‘the one i don’t get is this picasso…he’s just a nut who somehow got elevated to this…this…great artist while no one knows ansel adams.’



5 February 2010 _ 18h47m17 EDT
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~ from…my files!

email quote:

i content myself with the notion that society is going to collapse very soon…

On Fri, Dec 4, 2009 at 11:23 AM, the angry red planet wrote:
>> i don’t understand how people get a book deal by saying they are going to write something in the future…

though the creators of that ‘child lingerie’ line have since piped up and said that the outfits are tutus, not teddies. we suppose that means pedophiles can now have the catalogs sent directly to their home address rather than the abandoned house across the street.


(a jew)

16 December 2009 _ 11h47m57 EDT
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~ overheard at goodwill of venice:

“i don’t know if he was baptist or methodist, but whatever jesus was, that’s what i want to be”.

hint: he wasn’t either.


shouldn’t it be ‘italian americans are ignorami’?

9 December 2009 _ 12h45m42 EDT
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“(‘Jersey Shore’ furthers) the popular TV notion that Italian-Americans are gel-haired, thuggish ignoramuses with fake tans, no manners, no diction, no taste, no education, no sexual discretion,”…..”Would that programing ever have been allowed if the group were African-Americans, Asians, Hispanics, Jewish people?” -ny post

yes, yes, yes, maybe.


i don’t celebrate bullshit columbus day

12 October 2009 _ 13h21m51 EDT
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~ you probably do not know that today is ‘columbus day’, because you don’t have the day off from work and are busy flipping through wall treatment catalogues or tracing handrails in autocad, and google didn’t put up a cute doodle of an ‘italian’ driving his sword into a caribbean beach. however, there is some nobody in alaska who wants to make sure you forget(?):

“We have a very large Alaska native population, so just the whole Columbus being the founder of the United States, doesn’t sit well with a lot of people, myself included,” said Paul Prussing, deputy director of Alaska’s Division of Teaching and Learning Support.

…or with anyone who has read a history book that makes clear that columbus died more than 280 years before the united states was (were?) founded.


hemingway would bite your quote in half

10 October 2009 _ 09h41m26 EDT
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~ nobel peace prize quote:

if pretty words alone could provide leadership, then why not just give the presidency and the Peace Prize to a Hemingway novel?”
-Todd Harris, a Republican strategist.

it sounds to us like ‘Todd Harris’ has never read a ‘Hemingway novel’


dollar tree quote

17 September 2009 _ 16h42m09 EDT
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~ overheard at world’s largest dollar tree:

when i was in jamestown last week, i saw the wine glasses that i want. they were $343 apiece.


albert swearengen shits on lucas’s neckbeard

6 July 2009 _ 22h05m10 EDT
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~ probably the coolest idea you’ll hear all week:

He has described the show as “Deadwood meets The Sopranos in space”

becomes the most ridiculous when you learn that the ‘he’ is george lucas, the guy who put prairie dog reaction shots in an indiana jones movie, and that ‘the show’ is a ‘star wars’ (the space opera films with fart jokes and an 8 year old darth vader yelling ‘yippee!’) television series. you have to wonder if the guy has hbo delivering some expurgated versions of their series to his ranch; are we really expected to believe that the same guy who edited out han’s murder of greedo and crafted such dialog as ‘you-sa in big doo-doo dis time!’ is truly inspired by beheadings, the use of ‘cunt’ in polite conversation, eye gougings, prostitutes, and anything that comes out of al swearengen’s mouth? we don’t have to know what ‘the jonas brothers’ are to guess that lucas’s show will have more in common with them than with trixie the whore.


picked on the 4th of july

4 July 2009 _ 17h36m36 EDT
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~ happy independence day!


One travels more usefully when alone, because he reflects more. -Thomas Jefferson