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pirates, snipers, easter

12 April 2009 _ 23h21m33 EDT
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“Our prayers have been answered on this Easter Sunday,” [some guy regarding the rescue of that captain kidnapped by pirates]

it would have ruined the element of surprise, but the navy should have flipped on their loudspeaker and told the pirates, ‘hey, easter is coming up in a couple of days, and americans fucking love feel good stories on religious and commercial holidays. they eat that shit up. it shores their beliefs that there is an order the universe follows. so unless you want to give up now, we are going to snipe you on easter sunday, for america.’


fort marijuana

23 January 2009 _ 14h06m20 EDT
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“If we didn’t have marijuana, what would this county be like?” said Sligh. “I think we’d all be selling Amway. I mean what else are we going to do?”

1. build a house?
2. paint a self-portrait?

we are stumped!


satellite coffeehouse

29 June 2008 _ 13h20m26 EDT
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~ satellite quote:
‘she’s an o.l.b.’
‘a what?’
‘official long-haired bitch’


michael nutter, like mccain, is a jerk.

18 May 2007 _ 11h22m23 EDT
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~ baltimore quote: ‘if michael nutter didn’t want to be an asshole, instead of stopping and frisking citizens, he’d make it illegal to leave unsolicited pizza fliers on everyone’s door.’
to continue this trajectory: nutter, along with all the losers, should also be forced to personally walk through the city and pick up every one of these campaign signs that are littering public property such as clark park, telephone poles, and thoroughfare medians.


matisse, green line cafe

8 September 2005 _ 08h31m03 EDT
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~ gl quote:

sa: “more is better than less”
lh: “that’s not what matisse said”


eric rudolph is a coward and a lunatic

18 July 2005 _ 13h41m17 EDT
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~ re: eric rudolph

“It really doesn’t matter what you say because I will go back to my home and you will go back to jail. The clinics in town will still be open and abortion will still be legal,” Lyons said.


stay out of atlanta, rudolph!
stay out of atlanta, deadbeat!

good riddance.


see claire wolfe

1 July 2005 _ 20h05m06 EDT
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~ yes, we have heard that the ‘swinging’, ‘centrist-right’ o’connor is getting the f out of scotus, which all but assures a fundamentalist, anti-liberty reactionary will be on the court for the next 20 years. on the bright side, for subscribers to the philosophy: ‘America is at that awkward stage; it’s too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards’, the coming justice will be a step in the direction of the latter.


manhattan, raspberry, olives

12 May 2005 _ 18h38m56 EDT
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~ daily imagealthough it provides rich and ample fodder for musings on surface and artifacts, philadelphia has been a punishing drought when our literary motivation seeks to take root. not since the early days of the manhattan project [+] have we felt like such hacks, pirating lines from rabble in the street – this time splicing it w/ the work of other members of the work.group.

a dot

~ chain grocery store quote: ‘life is hard, you know. do you think you can work with those olives?’

a dot

~ daily imagethis ‘quote’ was relayed to us by a third party, but as we were mere feet away from the exchange, peeping out pre-3ds brickwork, we feel as though we were there. basically, this is a fictionalized account: ‘order me a raspberry steamer. or strawberry.’


princeton philadelphia quotes

26 March 2005 _ 07h57m20 EDT
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~ princeton/philadelphia quotes:

‘you don’t have love handles where you are supposed to’

‘raspberry truffle skim latte!’

‘there are other ways of making money than sending ammunition to nigeria’


john mccain is owned

31 August 2004 _ 01h48m54 EDT
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~ make no mistake, we have no interest in john mccain. we are mystified by the democrats who go into convulsions of heavy panting with the thought that he will somehow grace them with a kind word. the man is a conservative and a republican. he is not a friend. do democrats think that he will someday reveal himself to be the standard bearer of their party, just because george w. bush tore him to shreds in the 2000 primary? does that mean that we can expect joe lieberman and dick gephardt to jump over to the republicans because john kerry talked shit about them in the democratic primaries? lieberman is a bad example, granted, but the point is that these aren’t real people, like dennis kucinich, who have a sense of honour and dignity; they are machines that will accept anything that they are told will help them advance their careers.

as stated, we are not interested in john mccain, or any of the automatons that are droning at the republican convention. we are interested, however, in language, in both a literal and literary sense. therefore, our interest was piqued when we heard this quote on the radio:

“We are engaged in a hard struggle against a cruel and determined adversary.” -john mccain, republican national convention

this sounds familiar to us, perhaps something that general pershing might say to american soldiers who were about to battle the boche.

“You are going to meet a savage enemy. Meet them like Americans.”-general john pershing, 1918

that is not exactly what we had in mind; we were remembering the phrase ‘tough and determined’, not ‘savage’. a quick search brought us disappointing results.

“We are going into battle against a tough and determined enemy.” -mel gibson, ‘we were soldiers’

has john mccain confused his real service in vietnam with mel gibson’s fake service in a vietnam movie? has the republican strategy for domination become so laced with lies and falsehoods that we are cutting the delineation between reality and fiction? does the arrival of schwarzenegger herald an era of swiping riffs from the most base and visceral of action flicks? if so, we might tune in for the convention after all, if we will hear cheney explaining the failure of the war on terror with a line from ‘road warrior’ or ‘lethal weapon 4’.

outside of this circus, this stealing of lines is the most pathetic display of oratory skills since new york businessmen-cum-politicians stood at the site of the destroyed world trade center and re-delivered speeches, like the gettysburg address, written and given by others, because none of our living ‘leaders’ have the abilities to equal the situation in which we find ourselves.

“game over, man!”