~ from time to time, the angry red planet receives criticism from those who find our log to be impersonal and, perhaps, inhuman. is our mission to entertain the masses by converting our internal machinations into a consumable quip, fit only for a patch or, if we are lucky, a freaking t-shirt? this isn’t diaryland; you’ll find nothing resembling the musings of a tortured 16-year old here… the rinds and cores that we throw, daily visions and invasions, are here for you to compile and interpret; nothing has been processed and righteously spilled out. so, sometimes you get to read about linux failures for three weeks; sometimes you get to hear about the man who forced us to examine his collapsing set of teeth at the ward plaza sav-on. however, you can trust us on this: you could not begin to plumb the depths of our frustration in the final hours of life in los angeles…

~ you can also trust on this: we will never see ‘spy kids’. never.

~ ‘we don’t anyone to mind us, so…’

~ with our body partially rested, mind partially addled, and stomach fully loaded with butterflies and black russian bagels, we sit out the remaining five hours…

~ though it is still to early to make a definitive declaration, the possibly lowest point of the final week of thesis may have been achieved. after days of abuse, our fuel-processing system has risen in protest. revenge having been exacted upon us for our implementation of a harsh regimen of raisins, seaweed, and coffee, we were forced to spend the evening in the mazda, curled into a ball of pain focused around the angry red intestines.

~ it is safe to say, however, that nothing can happen in the remainder of the week that will contest tonight’s breakage of the 1,400 mp3 barrier as the high point of the last few days of thesis.

~ some links added…

~ a rainy day and night in los angeles revitalizes the senses, enabling the first productive work session in weeks. after 14 hours of working, about 5 hours of work has been produced; truly, a new plateau of efficiency has been reached.

~ thesis quote: ‘i shouldn’t even bother putting together a presentation’

~ thesis quote: ‘i’ve got the teeth of an eight-year-old.’

~ thesis quote: ‘vladimir is officially a prick.’

~ miserable weather in los angeles today…miserable aura in the offices today…miserable feelings from the neighbors today…

~ disappointing work on the desktop…disappointing strength of effort….disappointing energy in the neighbors…

~ two weeks without you:
yesterday’s surprise thesis review went remarkably well for the angry red planet – ‘remarkable’ considering the thesis and the angry red planet are not doing so well at all…

~ and still haven’t gotten over you yet:

took a trip to the last place she that and i went – when it was the last time she and i would see each other … looked with resign the same tools and information about which no one i know cares anything … listened to a man tell two women that scientists haven’t found life on saturn because they have not looked on the rings … sat on the stones where i told her all that was going to happen in my future … heard a woman tell her friend to take pictures someplace else because she would otherwise disturb my following the sunset…

~ ‘does anybody really know what time it is?’ :
he conversationally tells her one thing behind my back; i heedlessly tell her about another thing behind his back; she cunningly asks her for some thing behind my back;

she vengefully tells her one more thing behind his back. i wish someone would tell me how to explain ‘truth’ to someone whose self-worth relies on forcing others into remorse and to someone who has used the term ‘love’ more times in november than i did in the 90’s.

~ to paraphrase:
you might find a reaction by being so provocative, but i think that most people just want to stay away from you. (and) you create an environment that i can only think about leaving.

~ skies are clear and cold in los angeles…at 6am on the roof of the abandoned train depot next door, i see the snow-capped mountains to the east. with the heat leaves the pressure and the anxiety; left is lethargy and the drift.

~ some visual updates in the thesis section. text to follow soon, we hope…

~ tomorrow is election day…..vote nader…

~ even after 10 hours, the longest sleep in 6 weeks, still too tired to read or write anything clearly. tired everyday – tired everyday of waking to guilt…still wish i was collecting dinosaur eggs…in wyoming…to the theme of lyle and johnny – boundless sounds that now reinforce confinement in the deserted blight…

~ another time, in a dead empire, she, a stranger and a liar, gave me this cassette: ‘have we a psychopath loose in new york city?’ -victor von doom