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secret christians in west philadelphia

6 October 2005 _ 16h29m05 EDT
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did they appear out of thin air? perhaps you had just ordered a coffee, and instead were presented with a cadre of bible thumpers in bad suits? were they beamed down from a spacecraft?

this is all very disturbing.

no! there is an unnerving trend in west philadelphia which involves the use nubile, sensually dressed young ladies who are dispatched to your neighboring table in the cafe and your front door at home. they pose as normal students, only upon close inspection does one realize that they are, in fact, actual christians; the text they are studying is the ‘holy bible’ and the syllabus before them is actually a list of ‘watchtower’ drop off points. you speak to these cafe spies at the risk of a lecture with the intent to convert.

on one occasion, however, we were able to observe a clearly collared priest proselytizing on the sidewalk; he was informing a boy in a foam hat and testament t-shirt of the harm in drinking beer from a coffee cup at 9am.

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'gray' responds:

what could possibly harm a boy in a testament shirt? certainly not his morning brewski.

this is an interesting development there in west philadelphia, and i trust you can use your superpowers to bust up this consortium of do-gooders. godspeed (pun intended)!

'jt' responds:

maybe the priest was telling him chuck billy is a weak vocalist… er,vokillist?

'the angry red planet » Blog Archive » green line cafe redux: burying you since 1997' responds:

[…] trend mentioned in a previous post [+] has continued. at first it was merely a curiosity that lovely, clever-looking young ladies would […]

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