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on the road with cafe tableaux

31 August 2012 _ 09h37m07 EDT
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~ our cousins over at cafe tableaux [w] have been cooking up an epic coffee travelogue all week, but they have really hit their stride with the latest chapter, ‘zootown brew’. the story starts at the wandering goat; do yourself a favour and check it out!

cafe tableaux on the road


grindcore house, r.i.p.

24 December 2011 _ 19h50m39 EDT
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~ public letter to the guy who had a chocolate labrador off-leash in the middle of grindcore house this morning: did you notice the ring of people who couldn’t approach the counter because your 70# dog was running in circles was barking at everyone in the room? probably not, since you were grinning at everyone and saying ‘what a good dog’ and kissing its muzzle. we had to wait five (5) minutes to get to the counter for a refill because you are a selfish prick. you brought us out of retirement just to say that we hope that you are the person louis ck said might be dead before christmas in that online special on his site.


forced march

3 March 2010 _ 23h28m57 EDT
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~ they cried ‘let’s roll!’ and the call was answered. this way a supergroup forms from the ashes of the work.group and cafe tableaux and takes the stage to rock the month of march, 3100 times. the ball now rolls – hail hundredwordmarch!


we’ve heard people mention aadams

20 February 2010 _ 17h56m13 EDT
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~ grounded coffee quote:

‘the one i don’t get is this picasso…he’s just a nut who somehow got elevated to this…this…great artist while no one knows ansel adams.’


fuck starbucks (layoffs)

28 January 2009 _ 19h05m58 EDT
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~ under ordinary circumstances, we would be gleeful to hear about economic woes at starbucks – at least with regards to their closing stores. but earlier this week we heard about caterpillar and home depot laying off employees, so this seems like a too much of a mess for us to be excited. where else can people get jobs if not at a shitty ‘coffee shop’? has wal-mart fired anyone yet? after this starbucks news, we suspect that when the day arrives that mcdonald’s announces layoffs, we all should collapse to the ground and hope for an alien invasion, because there is nothing left to save us.

“Starbucks Corp. said Wednesday that it would cut as many as 6,700 jobs as it closes hundreds more stores and eliminates more positions at its corporate headquarters.

Faced with slowing demand for lattes and cappuccinos because of the recession, Starbucks plans to close 300 stores, including 200 in the United States, and eliminate about 6,000 store jobs. The company also plans to eliminate about 700 corporate jobs, including about 350 at its corporate headquarters in Seattle.

The coffee giant made the announcement as it reported that its profit dropped 69 percent in its fiscal first quarter with sales continuing to slide. ”



satellite coffeehouse

29 June 2008 _ 13h20m26 EDT
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~ satellite quote:
‘she’s an o.l.b.’
‘a what?’
‘official long-haired bitch’


dream girl

10 November 2007 _ 17h39m09 EDT
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New Yorkers rally to help online romeo

NEW YORK (Reuters) – A tale of online love inspired usually cynical New Yorkers this week to help a young man find the girl of his dreams after he spotted her on a crowded subway train.

etc, etc. the article goes on to say that a hipster in brooklyn saw his ‘dream girl’ on the train, and he went home and set up a website asking for her to call him. essentially this is another article that puffs up any bullshit that happened in nyc to be more important than bullshit in all other places. some of us have been posting missed connections, real and fake, for four or five years now, so we know intimately what type of horse’s ass would set up a cute website about a ‘dream girl’ he saw for 2 minutes, without knowing anything that is on her mind.

unless his ‘dream girl’ was writing (in french) about quasars in her journal, was wearing an ‘ambush bug’ hoodie, had soy dream on her chin, and sported a tattoo of chaucer, it is clear that this guy does not know jack shit about this girl; we doubt that he could honestly say anything more on his site than, ‘you’re, like, hot’. we loathe farcical mc’s!

a dot

~ also, over more than 4 years of inattention, we finally updated all of our posts, in the past made through various means and formats, to meet the same schema. you may now find the first three years, 2000-2003 fully tagged and searchable.


green line cafe redux

6 May 2006 _ 06h40m50 EDT
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~ green line cafe quote:
“isn’t furness the same one who did our church?”

the trend mentioned in a previous post [+] has continued. at first it was merely a curiosity that lovely, clever-looking young ladies would spend their afternoons studying the holy bible. now it is no joke, with spring arriving, the tables are packed and you can not enter the place without seeing someone cracking open the bible or at least ‘dive into ecclesiastes’. we always knew there were christians out there somewhere, presumably running hallmark franchises in strip malls and trading in glass doves at craft fairs, but we didn’t expect that they had decided to co-opt the myth of intellectualism and cafe culture, exchanging incendiary discourse and revolutionary texts for the gospels.

we thought west philadelphia was a hotbed of radicals, but apparently it is a cradle full of holy rollers. there seems to be less overt christianity at the other green line; perhaps it should be moved up in the queue of scheduled tableaux.

anyway, cafe tableaux has a new green line photo.


fuck double shots espresso bar

25 February 2006 _ 22h50m26 EDT
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~ we aren’t allowed to comment on cafe tableaux [w], but there are some fallacies in a recent comment about their review for double shots espresso bar which deserve a small bit of our attention:

(errors from original post) “Hmm, I frequent this shop quite often and there doesn’t seem to be any books DISPLAYED but many are on some bookshelves along with many other works. WiFi is FREE and I use it for school work quite often but I guess if you stayed more than the 12 seconds you would have found that out. Maybe one should not be so quick to make judgements about books considering we all do have the right of freedom of speech (just like the freedom to write our thoughts online)” –shawn

» thos [w] wasn’t ‘quick’ with his judgment about the ‘drudge manifesto’; he was aware of the politics of drudge before entering the cafe, so there was no judgment about the material being made on the spot. thomas had long known the text to be partisan, kool-aid propaganda.

more importantly, the fact that there is such a thing as ‘freedom of speech’ does not absolve anyone from being judged. the conceptual gap between your whining that drudge should not be judged and your ‘defense’ of free speech is large enough to roll an f-150 through it. nothing is more embarrassing than seeing someone cry about their right to expression by bitching when someone else expresses a contrary view. shawn and drudge have the freedom to say or write whatever they want, and thos has the right to tear their drivel a new one.

in any event, at no time did thos claim that drudge did not have the right to espouse drivel; thos stated that he did not desire to ‘support a cafe that displays…Drudge’. the difference between these positions can not be made more clear.

» when a book is placed in the center of a shelf with its face turned to the room whilst every other book shows only the spine, that qualifies as a ‘prominent display’

» thos looked up double shots online at the time of review; they state that wireless access requires payment.


r.i.p. huff

7 February 2006 _ 14h40m38 EDT
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‘rip: 6.2005-2.2006’

a dot

~ green line quote: “pronunciation is my for-tay”