~ ‘a week beyond reason’ is how i have described the past few days to an out-of-town acquaintance. there is pandemonium at school, with childish letters from instructors to students, knee-jerk reactions to rightfully posted concerns, and petty goading from vindictive pissants who can’t get anyone to give them the time of day. some fellow thesis researchers come across a proposal which is only two pages long; as we were all in the 30-50 page range, with me admittedly on the light side of the scale, tidal waves of rage immediately engulfed us. to this is added a note from an instructor who is ‘concerned’ with my performance during a presentation. this is how the stage is set as i walk into the hall for my final studio review and see that the jury is my personal sci-arc rogue’s gallery; my instructor seems to have made a point to invite everyone with whom i have a history. when they see me, they are already ready to go to it; nothing i say has any effect on the belittlement which immediately rains upon me and my mediocre project after i finish my little opening speech. i have never been a practitioner of the philosophy that a good night’s sleep and the accompanying lucidity is more important than staying up all night for that one final model and its accompanying groggy confusion.
so, when i am propped up against the wall and what could be my greatest antagonists (at least, those who are still allowed in the building), i am without defense immediately fall to the ground and am kicked repeatedly from all sides. my loving instructor attempted to prod a few responses that he knew were lurking inside me, but i was still trying to pick my broken teeth and glasses from the floor. after the blood ends, i have a date to see ‘hi fidelity’, but due to some confusion with the newspaper, we arrive too late for john cusack, and i am suckered into something which i would rather not mention…or even consider remembering…

~ at least i don’t have to drive to the freaking valley today.

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